Exclusive Timeless Interview: Farlough Rapshok

Welcome to an exclusive interview.

This interview will be posted here, and only here. You will not find it anywhere else unless somebody copies it without copyright permission.

That said, I bring you...

Farlough Rapshok.

Me: Hello Farlough. Having a good day today?

Farlough: No, actually. I'm still on this blasted planet, am I not? And who are you?

Me: Point taken. I'm the editor of your story, and would you be willing answer a few questions?

Farlough: No. Go away.

Me: *clears throat* *gestures to viewers*

Farlough: Um...hehe...on second thought, I'd be happy to answer your questions.

Me: Thank you. First question: Habla Inglés?

Farlough: Huh?

Me: Yeah, I didn't get that question either...next, how old are you?

Farlough: 24. 18 in your world.

Me: *scribbles on notepad* What's your middle name?

Farlough: That's classified.

Me: Interesting... *scribbles more* What is your favorite color?

Farlough: Malachite.

Me: What?

Farlough: It's a color. Look it up.

Me: Uh, okay. How do you spell that?

Farlough: M-A-L-A-C-H-I-T-E.

Me: *writes that down* Have you ever heard of an iPod?

Farlough: No.

Me: Have you ever been to public school?

Farlough: No.

Me: Do you know who Trevor McNevan is?

Farlough: Trevor....my cousin?

Me: No. Not him.

Farlough: You sure?

Me: Yes. I've checked your family tree.

Farlough: How the heck did you get a hold of my-

Me: *clears throat* What is your weapon of choice?

Farlough: A double-sided axe.

Me: Define "Antonym."

Farlough: An extended version of "ant," perhaps?

Me: Hmm...*consults notepad* Let's try this from a different approach. Have you ever been to a castle?

Farlough: Oh yes. Many times. I stole from a king once...well, more than once.

Me: Did you ever get caught?

Farlough: Once. That was why I was banished to Earth.

Me: Have you ever wielded your weapon of choice against a trained enemy and defeated him?

Farlough: Yep.

Me: Have you ever had an alcoholic drink?

Farlough: Once. It was gross.

Me: Do you have any friends? If so, please give me their names.

Farlough: Reles and Tony.

Me: Last names?

Farlough: Firebane and Amador.

Me: How long has it been since you've seen Reles?

Farlough: A while.

Me: Do you have an exact time or date?

Farlough: Uh...57:39 on the 66th of....um...I forget which month.

Me: And were you on good terms with him?

Farlough: We were never really on bad terms.

Me: Thank you, Farlough. Now, from my notes, I will construct a psychological evaluation of your personality, as well as take a few guesses of your past and how you were raised. Give me a moment.

Farlough: *waits*

Me: Alright, here you go:

Name: Farlough Thatsclassified Rapshok
Age: 18
Gender: Male 

Personality: Prone to fantasies usually set in medieval times. These fantasies can cause him to attack others, steal from places (which he views as castles), and believe that he is old enough to drink even when he is really underage. He also believes he is related to famous people. 

Past: Grew up in an extremely sheltered home, where he invented these fantasies for himself for lack of anything to do. He has also managed to create alternate personalities, whom he views as his "friends." His mother probably referred to herself as the "queen," and his father as the "king." The parents may have treated him like a commoner, which probably led to his life of thieving. When he was caught, he was expelled from his home onto the streets. 

Diagnosis: Multiple Personality Disorder, Trauma 

Recommendation: St. Elizabeth's Hospital for the Criminally Insane

Farlough: WHAT??? YOU LITTLE -

Timeless - Part 8

 Tony started the car again and drove back onto the road. “I need to do some serious thinking, and I’m tired. I’m going to stop by a restaura- I mean, a place to get food. “Oh, good,” Farlough said with relief, patting his stomach. “I'm hungry.” About five miles later, Tony pulled into a fast food restaurant. Farlough stared at the sign. “Who’s Mc. Donald?” Tony rolled his eyes and got out of the car. Farlough followed him, and the two went inside the restaurant. The place was nearly empty. Tony walked up to the counter and ordered a coffee. Farlough, after several minutes of staring at the menu, selected a hamburger and a soda, not knowing what either of them were. Tony paid and handed Farlough a cup. Farlough stared inside of it. “It’s empty.” “Uhh... Yeah, it is,” Tony replied. “You need to get it from there.” He pointed at a soda fountain. After another minute of careful consideration, Farlough settled for a Sprite. "Now what?" Tony groaned and grabbed the cup from Farlough. He filled it to the top with Sprite and handed it back to him. By that time, their order was ready. Tony selected a table near the door, just in case they needed to exit quickly. Tony sipped his coffee. Farlough watched Tony. "Seriously, how many of those have you had in the past 24 hours? It tastes awful, and it can't be good for you." Tony pretended he didn't hear him. Farlough unwrapped his burger and stared at it in silence. "You're supposed to eat it," Tony whispered. "I knew that," Farlough said with a glare. He took a hefty bite of the burger. Lettuce spilled out of the back. Then, acting as if he knew exactly what he was doing, he took an enormous gulp of his soda, and promptly misted the floor. Tony forced a cough to cover up his laughter. The rest of the meal was normal. Farlough finished the rest of his burger in three bites, and didn't touch the soda again. Tony took longer. He didn't speak, and the only time he would move would be when he took a sip of his coffee. Finally, he sighed and leaned back in his chair. “We can’t go back to the house,” he said. “Of course not.” “We can’t hide.” “Right.” “We can run, but they’ll catch up eventually.” “Mmm hmm.” “So, I don’t know what to do.” Tony said with a shrug. “Well, we’ve been here for a while and they haven’t found us yet . . . right?” Tony glanced through the nearby window and suddenly sat up straight. "Hey, where the heck is our car?"

Word count

We just reached 5000! Yeah!!

Timeless - Part 7

Tony started to stand. A small, dark green object landed next to them. Farlough pointed at it and looked to Tony questioningly. Tony glanced at it for a second, and his eyes widened.

"GRENADE!" he yelled. He grabbed Farlough and pulled him out of the way.

The grenade exploded, and the shockwave knocked them flat on their stomachs. Pieces of shrapnel flew above their heads, landing on the ground and tumbling for a few feet, kicking up dirt before coming to a dusty rest in the gravel.

"I think that car of yours is history," Farlough remarked as he rolled over and sat up.

Another grenade flew through the air towards the two men. Before it hit the ground, Tony stood up, caught it, and lobbed it back at the enemy. Several seconds later, it went off, scattering the killers.

"They may be good at killing, but they certainly aren't the brightest assassins," Tony said as he helped Farlough up.

Tony jogged to the remains of his car and pulled out his briefcase.

"I'm lucky that this is still intact," he said to Farlough as he patted it. "It'll come in handy later."

 "Where do we go now?" Farlough asked. "We have no car."

"You're right, we don’t." Tony replied as he started walking again. He stopped in front of the assassins' gray suburban. "But the killers won't need this one anymore."

Farlough nodded in understanding.

Tony placed his briefcase in the back seat and ripped open a panel underneath the steering wheel. Farlough climbed into the passenger seat.

“What are you doing?” he inquired, intrigued.

“Starting the car.”

“I thought you were supposed to do that with keys.”

“I don’t have the keys to this car.”

“So what are you doing?”

“Starting the car without keys.”

Farlough crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. “Show-off,” he muttered.

A moment later, the car roared to life. Tony strapped on his seatbelt.

* * * * * * * * * *

After several minutes of driving, Farlough spoke up. "Tony?"

Tony sighed. "What now?"

"Is it just my imagination, or is there a giant bird with spinning wings behind us?"

Tony shook his head. “It’s just your imagination.”

“Well then why is it making so much noise?”

Tony glanced at the rearview mirror. A helicopter, almost at ground level, was hovering behind them. Tony cursed and started to drive faster.

"Don't tell me it's another batch of assassins," Farlough complained.

A missile struck several feet from the car, causing the car to shake.

Tony rolled down his window. "Farlough, since you are stuck on this planet, I may as well give you driving lessons."

Keeping his foot pressed firmly down on the gas pedal, he let go of the wheel and reached for his briefcase.

Farlough instinctively grabbed the wheel. "I really don't think now is the best time!"

"Just keep holding the wheel," Tony said as he pulled out an automatic from its case. He glanced at Farlough. "And stay on the road."

He shoved a mag into the weapon and looked up. "I need a better angle. Get into the next lane. The one to the left."

“Well how am I supposed to do that?”

“Go to the right!”

Farlough steered to the right and nearly drove off the road. Tony grabbed the wheel with one hand and jerked it back onto the road.

"Not that far right!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry," Farlough said as he tried to steady the car.

Another missile streaked past the car and exploded in front of them.

“These guys are a terrible shot,” Farlough said as he steered to the right to avoid the crater. Small rocks cracked the car’s windows. Farlough nearly drove off the road again.

“Keep the car steady,” Tony said as he started to lean out of the window.

“Uhhh . . . I’ll try,” Farlough replied uncertainly.

Tony pulled off his seatbelt and leaned out so he was facing the chopper. He cocked the gun, took aim, and began firing. For a few moments, the bullets didn’t seem to do much damage. Then the tail of the chopper exploded, and the helicopter started to spin. Tony continued firing, and yelled to Farlough.

“TURN LEFT! TURN LEFT NOW!”

“But we’ll go off the road!” Farlough yelled back.

“I DON’T CARE! JUST TURN LEFT!”

Farlough sighed and turned the wheel hard to the left. The car careened off the road and into the rocky plains. Tony stopped shooting, leaned back into the car, and took the wheel again. Farlough looked through the back window just in time to see the helicopter crash.

Farlough glanced at Tony. “I think I need a few more lessons.”

Tony brought the car to a slow stop in front of a huge boulder. He let go of the wheel and put his forehead on it, exhausted.

“Yes. I think you do too.”

Timeless - Part 6

Farlough pushed at the belt release. “It’s stuck!”

“What?”

“Are you deaf? It’s STUCK!”

Tony glanced through the cracked back window. Seven men in assorted dress were getting out of a gray suburban. “Quick, lean the seat back.”

“How?”

“Find the lever on the side of the seat,” Tony said, opening the glove compartment.

Farlough found the lever. “Now what do I do?”

“Pull it!”

He did.

"It's kinda hard to do this while sideways... Now what?”

Tony was getting agitated. “Lean back!”

“Okay, okay!” The seat tipped back, allowing Farlough to slip through.

Tony grabbed three pistol magazines and a revolver from the compartment and slammed it shut. No time for stealth, he thought. Action time. He offered his gun and the magazines to Farlough.

“What about the other one?” came the reply.

“I don’t have time to show you how to use it. Maybe later.”

Farlough took the extended weapon and nodded his thanks. “What about the big gun you brought?”

“I don’t have time to load it. It takes a while," Tony smashed the window to the sunroof with his fist. 

By this time the attackers were exceptionally close. Tony scrambled out of the car. Motioning for Farlough to follow his lead, he got down on his hands and knees in front, between the headlights. He checked his revolver to make sure it was loaded and poked his head around the side. A bullet smashed the side view mirror, spraying shards. One shard glanced off of Tony’s forehead and he pulled back, blood oozing above his eyebrow.

The setting was an abandoned dirt road. They were about six miles from Tony’s home and approximately nine miles from the city. Tony wiped the blood from his head and moved away from the side of the car. He pulled Farlough down as bullets smashed through the windows.

Farlough had to yell to be heard over the obnoxious noise of the guns firing and glass shattering. "What do we do now? We can't just stay here! They’ll blast us to bits!"

"I know," Tony said as he jumped up, turned, fired two shots through the broken windows of the car, and kneeled down again. "They're closing in on us; we need to move soon."

Farlough rolled his eyes. “Obviously,” he remarked as he fumbled to load the gun Tony had given him.

"I think I hit one," Tony commented. "But as far as I can tell, my second shot didn't hit any of the others." He peeked over the edge of the window and saw the remaining six moving towards the car. He moved down again and said to Farlough, "They're coming. We now have only one option.”

“I think I know what you’re thinking.”

“Well then -”

“But I don’t think suicide is such a good idea.”

Tony slapped his forehead. “I meant we should run.”

Farlough thought for a moment. “That works too.”